A 29-year-old female Redditor with the user name erika_urrrika opened up about a dilemma she was facing with her mother. The woman explained that she had just given birth to her child and needed help caring for her newborn as she was returning to work. The first person that she believed would be perfect for the job was her mother, a 64-year-old woman who had been a homemaker since 1992. However, her mother was not keen on a full-time babysitting job. The grandmother reasoned that she was too old and had already raised her children. She also told her daughter that she should have considered staying home if she wanted to have a baby. The older woman said that she and her husband agreed that she would stay home and take care of the kids while he worked and provided for the family and that if they could do it, then her daughter and partner could find a way to build a “traditional” family.

As much as the 29-year-old could have considered these options, she explained that they had just survived the pandemic, which took a toll on their finances. In addition to the struggling economy, the woman gave a breakdown of her monthly income and accumulated debt. She said, “I make $55k/yr, but have $39k in student loans + $20k in other debt (credit card, car loan, medical debt on credit). My partner makes about $36k/yr and has $5k in credit card debt. “Seeing that the Redditor was the highest-earning member and had large amounts of debt, she could not afford not to go back to work. Additionally, the newly expanded family lived in a small one-bedroom apartment and planned to save up and move to a bigger place once the baby got bigger. T herefore, every cent counted for the new mother. However, the grandmother did not agree to babysit her child without any compensation. She asked to be paid $20/hr, including late fees should the parents pick up the child late, a car seat, and a stroller, and to be compensated for driving the child back to her daughter’s house because babysitting from their apartment was not an option. According to the new mom, her mother lived 15 minutes away and had only been to her apartment once in the five years she and her partner have lived there. But the grandmother had personal reasons for not stepping foot in their home. “I want to save money to bring down our debt, and I don’t want to pay her as much nor invest as much in double everything as it will spiral into more debt for me and my partner. “What seemed to be an easy solution to her problem ended up causing conflict between her and her mother. After her mother laid out her terms, it looked like taking her newborn to an infant care center would be convenient and cheaper for her and her partner.